Growing up in Missouri


My youngest daughter, who grew up and still lives in Missouri, sent me this the other day. Since I also spent part of my life growing up and going to school in Missouri, I found it appropriate. I also did what #43 requires and sent it to one of my Missouri friends. Enjoy!
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Growing up in Missouri

  1. You’ve never met any celebrities.
  2. Everyone you know has been on a “Float Trip,”
  3. “Vacation” means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
  4. You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
  5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, “Well, Hannibal is only 40 minutes away.”
  6. Down south to you means Springfield or Branson.
  7. The phrase “I’m going to the Lake this weekend” only means one thing.
  8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
  9. You think Missouri is spelled with an “ah” at the end.
  10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
  11. You know what “Party Cove” is.
  12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
  13. You instinctively ask someone you’ve just met, “What High School did you go to?”
  14. You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
  15. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
  16. You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.
  17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
  18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of day.
  19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
  20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?”
  21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, season or grain.
  22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell‑O salad with marshmallows.
  24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
  25. You went to skating parties as a kid.
  26. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
  27. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
  29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
  30. You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced “farty-far.” (St. Louis only.)
  31. You’ll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
  32. You think that “deer season” is a National Holiday.
  33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
  34. You can’t think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
  35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  36. You’ve said, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”
  37. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
  38. You know if another Missourian is from the Bootheel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
  39. You know that Harry S Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
  40. You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!) (Additionally, so are Memphis, Cairo, and Florida)
  41. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  42. You know what “HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL” means.
  43. You actually get this and forward it to all your Missouri friends.
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