What if God used voice mail?

This came to us with a Christmas card this year.  I know there are some variations on this idea but this is the one we received.

Imagine if you will that you started praying and you heard this. . .

“I’m sorry, all of our angles are busy help other saints right now.  However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received, so please stay on the line.”

If you would like to speak to:

Gabriel, press 1

Michael, press 2

For a directory of the other angels, press 3

If you’d like to hear King David sing a psalm while you are waiting, please press 4.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key.  (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)

For reservations at “My Father’s House”, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.  Please hang up and try again tomorrow so that others may have a chance to get through.

This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.  Please pay again Monday after 9:30 am.  If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.


If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If God had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

When you want to talk, He’ll listen.

He could live anywhere in the universe and He chose your heart.

God was showing off the day he made you.


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